


Santa Baby

by CoffeeKristin



Category: Hockey RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Get Well Soon Tazer, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 02:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8778742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeKristin/pseuds/CoffeeKristin
Summary: All Patrick wants for Christmas is Jonny.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is an entry for allthebro's "Get Well Soon Tazer" mini-fest. It's light on the injured Jonny and heavy on the Christmas schmoop, but hopefully it still qualifies as something that helps people get through the wait for Jonny to return.
> 
> Thanks, as always, to my beloved [frosting50](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Frosting50/) for the excellent beta and support. All errors are mine, and she, as usual, whipped this into an acceptable state to share.
> 
> Also, thanks to [svmadelyn](http://archiveofourown.org/users/svmadelyn/) for tweeting [20 Best Hot Chocolates in Chicago](http://chicago.eater.com/maps/best-hot-chocolate-chicago-map) just as I was about to look for a place for 1988 to get one. Be sure to peruse their choices if you like being tormented by beautiful photos of food. And definitely make a visit to [Caffe Umbria](http://caffeumbria.com/) if you get a chance - it looks amazing.

“Santa’s almost here, kids!” Patrick smiled at the red-haired girl clinging shyly to her mother’s leg. “His sleigh was a little late today, but he’ll be here any minute.” He moved down the line, smiling and handing out candy canes while he kept one eye on the door. When there was still no Santa by the time he’d gotten to the end of the rapidly growing line, he hurried back to where Jonny was waiting next to the couch that served as Santa's perch for photos.

“Dude, where is Q?” Patrick hissed at Jonny, who was glaring at his phone. 

“He’s. Not. Here. Yet,” Jonny hissed back. ”Obviously.”

“Well, we’re gonna have to figure out something soon because there’s no way this isn’t degenerating into _Rambo XV: The Toddler Years_ if we don’t give these kids something other than excuses and candy really soon. Especially since we’ve been handing out candy canes every ten minutes.”

“I know,” Jonny said, pocketing his phone. “What the fuck are we going to do?”

“Dude,” Patrick said, side-eying him. “Stop stalling. He’s not coming.”

“Ugh,” Jonny sighed. He put out his hand under the counter where the kids couldn’t see. “Fine.”

One game of rock-paper-scissors later, and Patrick was grinning as the door opened to reveal the saltiest Santa Clause ever.

“Ho-ho-ho,” Jonny called, only slightly muffled by the white beard. His dark eyes glared at Patrick from behind the tiny glasses perched on his cheeks. Patrick barely managed not to laugh when the entire line turned to look at Jonny with a gasp. “Merry Christmas, everyone! Ho-ho-ho!”

Jonny waddled toward the upholstered couch, slapping a couple of hands on the way, and Patrick grinned at him cheekily as he opened the gate for him. “Hi Santa!”

“Fuck off,” Jonny said under his breath.

“Now, Santa, is that any way to talk to your favorite elf?” Patrick teased.

“Like you’re my favorite anything, Kaner,” Jonny grumped. 

“Pretty sure I was your favorite last night,” Patrick said. “Remember that thing I did with my tongue? You said -- “

“Shut up! There are children ten feet away!” Jonny hissed, cheeks pink. “Jesus.”

“Sorry, Santa,” Patrick smirked.

“Just bring me the first kid.”

“Okay, that just sounds…wrong on so many levels.” Patrick said. “Fee-fi-fo-fum is not the vibe you should be going for, Santa.”

“Fuck. Off.” Jonny frowned. “Can you just bring the first dumb kid?”

“Tsk tsk, so much hostility,” Patrick teased, laughing when Jonny growled at him. 

Patrick turned toward the line. “Who’s ready to see Santa?” he yelled, laughing when they all shouted back at him, a wave of happy noise. “Well okay, then, let’s get this party started!”

He definitely didn’t watch Jonny’s face soften when he leaned close to listen to the little red-haired girl’s Christmas wish, nor did he notice how Jonny’s eyes lit up at whatever she said. He sighed, a little dreamily, even by his own pathetically low standards, then shook himself and turned to the next child.

After that, Patrick was so busy -- since they were down one elf, Patrick was handling child-herding and photographer/cashier duty -- that he didn’t have a chance to watch Jonny be adorable with the kids. Mostly.

Okay, so there was that one boy wearing a cape who whispered earnestly into Jonny's ear for a full minute. Patrick couldn't hear so he could only imagine what the kid said, but when the kid slid off his lap, Jonny looked a little dazed. He shook his head when Patrick had asked if he was okay, waving at Patrick to get the next kid, a small smile still playing around his face.

He barely even noticed when the mom of one of the kids insisted on sitting next to Santa, sliding one hand over his knee. Somehow that photo had been too blurry to print, which he explained to the woman patiently, hiding a satisfied smile. After complaining loudly, she walked away muttering about incompetent elves. Jonny hardly rolled his eyes at Patrick for that one.

And he definitely didn't melt at the sight of Jonny cradling a newborn baby girl in an elf costume, complete with a tiny hat and tiny curled, black booties.

An hour later, Jonny was visibly drooping on his perch, and while the line was down to about half of what it had been there was no way they’d be through it for another hour at least. Patrick wasn’t going to be a martyr so once he’d escorted the current little boy off Jonny’s lap, he clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention.

“Okay, boys and girls, Santa needs to go feed his reindeer, so we’re going to take a quick break -- “ he waited out the loud groans before going on -- “but he’ll be back at five-thirty. Keep being good!” 

Jonny’s gait was a little stiff as they walked out, and he collapsed against the wall with a groan as soon as the door closed. “Don’t make me go out there again, Kaner, I can’t -- “

“Sorry I was late, guys,” someone interrupted, startling them both. Joel Quenneville was standing in the door to the locker room, already dressed in the back-up Santa suit. He was adjusting the beard under his bushy mustache as he spoke, and his trademark growl was a little muffled. “Brought my idiot son and his friend in so they can take the rest of your shifts. It was their fucking fault I was late,” he adds, raising his voice. “Now get changed and get out of here.”

“No argument here,” Patrick agreed, hustling Jonny into the locker room, where two guys were slumped, playing on their phones. They handed off their costumes and were outside a few short minutes later.

“Thank God,” Patrick said, tugging his beanie over his ears. “I wasn’t looking forward to the rest of the night.” He looked over at Jonny, who was still moving a little stiffly. “You good?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, my back’s just a little sore.”

“Your back’s a little sore?” Patrick said, pulling Jonny to a halt. “Did you pick up a fat kid, Jon? I fucking told you not to pick up the fat kids!”

“No, Kaner, I didn’t pick up a _fat kid_ , Jesus. And don’t call kids fat, it sets them up for a lifetime of body image issues -- “

Patrick rolled his eyes and walked on, leaving Jonny sputtering behind him. 

It took longer than it should have for Jonny to catch up, but he finally fell into step with Patrick, small wince gracing his face. “Rude, asshole,” Jonny said, bumping into Patrick hard enough that he stumbled, and Jonny had to grab Patrick’s arm to keep him from falling into the street. “I was just trying to say -- “

“La la la la, not interested,” Patrick said, covering his ears with mitten clad hands. When Jonny frowned at him, Patrick shrugged and dropped his hands. “I’m not calling kids fat, Jon, I’m saying there are fat kids that exist in the world, and they like to talk to Santa, but when Santa has a bad back _already_ , Santa shouldn’t be picking those kids up.”

“Ugh, law school is really ruining you.”

“You mean because of how I’m always winning all our arguments now, Jon? Because it’s actually just making me more awesome.”

“Ugh,” Jonny repeated, making a face. “You’re so lame.”

“I’m so _awesome,_ , we just went over this,” Patrick corrected. Jonny made a face at him but didn’t dispute it, because Patrick _is_ awesome. “Anyway, Santa Serious, where are we going?” He looked behind them, at the El entrance Jonny had just walked them past. “Because we live about six stops that-a-ways, and I’m too cold to walk.”

“Stop whining,” was all Jonny said in response, and Patrick sighed and let himself be pulled along until they were inside Caffe Umbria, which was almost empty as it inched closer to six o’clock and the business district emptied for the day.

“I don’t want coffee, Jonny,” Patrick complained. “I just want to go home.”

“Sit down and stop whining,” Jonny said, pushing him toward a chair and going up to order.

“Fine,” Patrick said sulkily, choosing a seat next to the window where he could watch all the people walking by. There were Christmas lights on up and down North Clark, and he let himself get lost in how pretty they looked in the light snow that had started falling. He startled when Jonny set a drink in front of him. “What’s this?”

“Whisky, neat,” Jonny said dryly. “It’s hot chocolate, dumbass.”

“Oh,” Patrick said, staring at the mug, baffled. “Since when do you drink hot chocolate? And you got whipped cream? You can’t eat whipped cream, Jonny, it’ll -- “

“It’s not for me,” Jonny said mildly. “This one is mine.” He put a matching mug, save the whipped cream, next to Patrick’s and scooted a chair over, unwinding his scarf and taking off his coat before sitting down next to Patrick.

“But you don’t eat chocolate, either?” Patrick took a long sip of his own, moaning a little.

“Jeez, can’t a guy take his boyfriend out for hot chocolate without getting grief for it?” Jonny took a careful sip of his own mug, his eyes flicking over to Patrick’s face and away again.

“Maybe any other guy could, but not you...” Patrick sat up straighter. “Wait, what? Your boyfriend?”

“Yes, yeah, I mean. You know. If you want,” Jonny said, overly casual but looking increasingly freaked out when Patrick didn’t say anything in response. “But, uh, if I read it wrong, don’t feel, uh, you don’t have to -- “

“I want! I want!” Patrick practically shouted, and Jonny finally turned to meet his eyes. “I didn’t know you were even thinking that way since we, uh. Since we started, you know. This.” To this point, neither of them had put a name to the multiple drunken roommate hookups that seamlessly transitioned into sort-of dates and hand-holding in public. “You want to be my boyfriend?”

“I really do, Pat,” Jonny said earnestly, finally turning to look at him.

“Oh, God, me, too,” Patrick said, shifting over until he was sitting in Jonny’s lap and kissing him quickly, first on the lips and then on any part of his face Patrick could reach.

“You’re a lot heavier than any of the fat kids were,” Jonny complained, but he just shifted Patrick into a more comfortable position, capturing his lips again. “Did you want to tell Santa what you want for Christmas, little boy?” He tried to leer at Patrick, but failed and started laughing.

“Ugh, Jonny,” Patrick groaned. “Just stop. Figures I’d finally have a boyfriend and be embarrassed to take him anywhere. Which is you. My boyfriend. Which is a thing I can say about you now.”

“Yeah, well, what else would you call the guy who’s in love with you?”

“What?” Patrick stared at him in shock for the second time in as many minutes. “You’re in love with me?”

“Yeah. Kinda have been for awhile now,” Jonny admitted sheepishly.

“How long is awhile?” Patrick gave Jonny a little shake when he didn’t answer right away. “Seriously, Jonny, how long?”

“Since freshman year in college,” Jonny mumbled.

“What?” Patrick stared at him, stunned. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way.” Jonny’s cheeks were bright red.

“Of course I felt the same way!” Patrick exploded. “ _I’ve_ been in love with _you_ since freshman year! Everyone knows that!”

“I didn’t know that,” Jonny said, annoyed. “How was I supposed to know that? You never said anything!”

“Jon, everyone knew. Sharpy knew. My sisters all knew. The cafeteria workers and the weird guy in chemistry who smelled like patchouli knew. _Your mother knew_ for fuck’s sake.”

“My mother? My mother didn’t know!” Jonny paused. “Oh. Actually, that would make a couple of my conversations with her a lot more clear now. Huh.”

“Focus,” Patrick said when Jonny kept staring into the distance, thinking. “Tell me more about how you’ve been in love with me. And why you didn’t tell me until now.”

“I just, I didn’t want to get my hopes up, I don’t know,” Jonny said.

“Pretty but so dumb,” Patrick said, sadly. “Why I love you, I’ll never know.”

“You do, though, right?” Jonny asked, ignoring his chirp.

“I do,” Patrick confirmed, serious again. “I love you, Jonny.”

They kissed for a long moment until the girl behind the counter pointedly cleared her throat. “Sorry, ma’am,” Jonny apologized.

"God, you're such a loser," Patrick sighed fondly.

"Maybe, but I'm your loser," Jonny responded.

"Yeah you are," Patrick sighed, letting Jonny push him off his lap and back onto his own chair with a wince. “Sorry! You shouldn’t have let me sit on you,” Patrick clucked, running a hand down Jonny’s back.

“It’s fine, Pat, I’m fine. Just a little sore.” He smirked a little. “Besides, you’re really not much bigger than those kids earlier.”

“I am, too!” Patrick said. 

"Sure you are," Jonny deadpanned. "Let's go. I'm tired and I want to go home and have sex with my boyfriend."

They headed outside into the snow, which was falling more steadily now. Most of the foot traffic was gone and they walked hand-in-hand towards the El, Patrick oddly reluctant to break the comfortable silence between them.

"Hey, you never did tell Santa what you wanted for Christmas.”

“Didn’t need to tell him, in the end," Patrick said with a shrug.

"Why?" Jonny asked curiously.

"Well,” Patrick could feel his cheeks heat up again, but what the hell, honesty and all that. Patrick smiled a little bashfully up at Jonny. “All I wanted for Christmas is you.” 

"Patrick..." Jonny pulled him close, kissing him thoroughly. “Me, too,” he echoed, pressing their foreheads together. “Me, too.”


End file.
